Boys will be boys...

This isn't going to be the "boys will be stinky boys" post that you might expect. This one has a little twist.

The back story:

So, yesterday wasn't a good day. The day started out with fibro pain & horrible fatigue, but I knew I needed to get several errands done - they needed to be done, and there was no putting them off. So, I contacted a friend to see if she wanted to ride along. I hadn't seen her in forever, and I knew if I had someone else along, my motivation would be much greater to get out of the bed that had accepted me as it's own.

I picked her up, we ran (okay, drove) all over the greater Hamilton County area, got our errands done, giggled, caught up (because it had been forever since we'd seen each other), had lunch, and I dropped her back to her home. I went home and crashed. My pain level was climbing quickly, and the fatigue… it felt like I had 50-lb weights attached to every limb of my body. I needed to rest.

As I was driving my friend home, my husband tried to FaceTime my phone. Now, I'm barely coordinated enough to talk on my phone while driving (ask anyone who has witnessed this!), so FaceTiming was out of the question. At a stop light, I texted him that I would FaceTime him as soon as I got home. Well, that never happened. FaceTime wouldn't connect on either end, so we resorted to a text conversation. Normally, that would be fine… but I really needed to hear his voice, and I just needed to really talk to him, y'know? It had been a day, and he's my one & only that can talk me through some specific things…and I needed him to do that. So we texted, and he still managed to talk me down, and I was grateful.

As the afternoon led to the evening, the fibro was kicking my hiney. I was driving the boys to their bible studies, and I cracked. I broke down. I started crying. I think the boys have only seen me cry maybe three times in their lives. I am not one to break down in front of people - I just don't. I can usually keep it together, but I just couldn't yesterday. Everything hit me at once & this was the result…which completely confused the boys. They didn't know what was going on. I mean, why would they?! When asked what was wrong, I gave them a vague Cliff Notes version. How they reacted was very true to their personalities.

Thing 1 responded in a very calm & cool manner, and the kid gave some sage advice. "Mom, you need to talk to someone you really trust, and they will guide you in the right direction, and can maybe help with a coping strategy." All of this from a 15-year old. (he's going to make a great husband!)

Thing 2 was very quiet & didn't say anything. I knew he was processing things, as he always does.

I dropped them off at their respective places, ran an errand, went home, cried, prayed, and felt better.

I picked up Thing 2 from his bible study first. He came out to the car, checked my expression to make sure I was okay, then smiled. He got in the car, gave me a hug, and said, "Mom, I prayed for you tonight." And my heart swooned…and my eyes started to fill up. This time, it wasn't because everything hit me at once…it was out of pure love. (he's going to make a great husband, too!)

I picked up Thing 1, and as he was walking to the car, he checked my expression as well, gave me a 'thumbs up', and climbed into the car.

So, in the midst of the chaos that we're experiencing right now, we are truly a team. As I was feeling every emotion known to man, I had two boys that were looking out for me. I hated that I broke down in front of them. They are feeling tons of emotions with their dad being gone right now, too. But as a friend said to me, "You're human. You have emotions! Sometimes they need to sneak out." And, she's right.

When you tend to stereotype boys, you think they don't have or show emotions. But that's just not true. These two have such beautiful hearts, and are very caring -- each in their own way. My pride in and for them is bursting right now! In all the ways I've failed, or at least thought I failed, I did two things right…and I could not be more proud of them!

And you know what? Today is a new day, and it's amazing what some sleep can do for your outlook on things.  :)